Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Stuff Some White People Like

First thing this morning, when I should have been working, I checked in on 2blowhards like I do first thing every morning when I should be working and noticed that Michael Blowhard scored 27 out of 107 on the "Stuff White People Like" test and found himself a little less white than he'd expected.

"Stuff Various Ethnic Groups Like" seems to be all the rage these days, so I decided to find out just how white I am. Turns out, I'm considerably less white that Michael B.

I scored 17/107.

One glance at the test confirmed my suspicion. The questions, like television commercials, are not aimed at my demographic. That is, age 48, born, raised and educated in Kentucky, comfortably settled in Texas for the past 26 years, extremely cheap...uh...thrifty and sensible

For instance, I do not know, nor have I ever known a person of any ethnicity who likes self-aware hip-hop references. Likewise Oscar Parties, Michael Gondry (whoever the hell he is), or knowing what's best for poor people.

I knew a vegetarian once. She moved to Manhattan. This past weekend, I met a young woman from California, a fellow scribbler who had relapsed after 10 years of vegetarianism. I asked her what happened. She said, "I moved to Texas."

I love dogs, as some of you may know. Also, coffee, black friends, farmers markets, gifted children, public radio, and book deals, especially those that come with an advance. My friends (black, white, and Hispanic) and I love organic food, particularly, squirrel, quail, frog legs, catfish, and any vegetable or fruit plucked from a backyard garden or orchard. Ditto bumper stickers or at least those that proclaim things like "I Hunt With Meat Dogs."

I like Barack Obama. However, I enjoy looking at Sarah Palin. (Stuff Middle-Age Men Like)

If you're new to my blog, you may be surprised that my friends and I love wine, which, according to the test, moves me toward the white end of the scale. In fact, on our hunting trips, far more wine than beer is consumed after the guns are unloaded and put away. A couple of years ago, I visited my buddy Wyman Meinzer at his home in Benjamin, Texas. We'd spent an afternoon following a pack of curs and plott hounds in pursuit of wild hogs. We were pulling back out on Highway 82, just before dark, when Wyman's wife, Sylinda, called and said, "Where are you boys? It's wine time!"

Oh, wait...

Could that be considered ironic? Maybe I'm a little whiter than I thought.


Matt Mullenix said...

You're a good man, whatever color you are. Cheers!

Matt Mullenix said...

OK, so I'm pretty white. I scored a 33.

Henry Chappell said...

Thanks, Matt! I suspect that age accounts for some of the difference. The list ought to be called "Stuff Educated White People Under the Age of 40 Like."

mdmnm said...

Well, to my surprise I scored in the low twenties, despite being just out of the age demographic. Fun that the ones that count, like #53 "dogs", or #49 "vintage", aren't quite right. My vintage t-shirts are all self-aged, but I'm pretty excited about a new vintage acquisition (1913 LC Smith 12ga featherweight). With the Chessie, people ask what he is, I tell them, then they sometimes ask what kind of dog that breed is and get taken aback when told "he hunts ducks". I'll bet it's worse trying to explain with a snazzy little dog like Kate. Fun test, though.

Henry Chappell said...

Mike, congrats on your L.C. Smith. I'm very envious. You're absolutely right about explaining Cate's breed and job to the average suburbanite: "She hunts squirrels? People hunt squirrels? You eat squirrels?"

I imagine lots of folks assume Booker is a big, rough Lab. Little do they know that the Chessie is the true American waterfowl dog.

Moro Rogers said...

I like Michel Gondry...except for BE KIND REWIND, which sucked a whole lot...